Eso es mis palabras como mi vida
My songs are like stories
My words are like pictures
Yo soy el cantante como Hector Lavoe
I’l sing you a song…
I’ll tell you a story
Write you a love song about how I loved and lost
Dies and lives thru my music
Words are the drips of sweat for my hard work
I am the sign of change
Yo soy el escritor
Writing my laments on pages stained in blood a sweat of a 21st century identity crisis love story ended in tragedy.
I’m the writer, el voz de mi pueblo..
Oh mi pueblo con mis manos de obras
My words like our soldiers dying in foreign lands
My shoulders hurt from holding their words on my back
Pictures the movie in sequence
Oh my works
“Mis Obras, Oh Dios Mis Obras”
Screamed the Spanish poet who met his end during a civil war.
My words unfinished and unrefined.
My words..
Mis palabras
Broken down
Criticized
Ripped apart
Like a newborn out of it’s womb
and then thought about too much to cheapen our feelings
“YOU TALK TOO MUCH”
says my pen to me as I shed the tears of the once lost
It is me the writer
I am the songs
I am the art that is moving
This ink is my blood
the paper is my soul
burning like the sun
as it beats down on our fathers
working in the fields for a change
I’m broken but I’m looking for a change
because
Yo soy el escritor
I bleed from my surroundings
telling you this story
many times you’ve heard
How we are part of each other
and how we work for our futures
Telling you the song of mis antepasados
through musica de los muertos
Oye me mis pueblos de Arizona, Nuevo Mexico, y la isla de Puerto Rico
Somos hermanos
All my brothers and sisters dancing to these words
Our future
Nuestra gente
Dancing towards our future
to the beat of time
Lost in our motives till the end of the line
ESO ES MI GENTE!
bleeding all the same
Whether you are working for us or dancing for us
to this song I sing
Oye me gente
Mis parientes
I am the singer
the songwriter
your sacrificial lamb
Your eyes and ears
the place in where you stand
Listen to the timbales
beating como tu corazon
Tengo cora pa mi barrio
y tu tambien
This is mi sangre
the life blood of our past
This is for my family
and all my friends
I can sing a song about our past
and how we got here
and how we will last
Can you feel the rhythm?
It surges thru ,my fingers into my pen
for this
I am the writer, el escritor
yo soy el cantante
writing this for you to sing
and listen to
join me in dancing to this song
I am the writer
DJ DISLEXICAN
Southwest Underground Hip-Hop
Hey people how have you been? Me myself I’ve been pretty crappy but whatever. Music helps the soul heal when it’s been wounded and what not. Lately I’ve been going through tons of crap and I wish there was something I could do about it either way there is
an Open Room tonite @ Corbett Center Auditurum from 7-9:30pm go check it out and support your poets or go to watch or preform!
I can’t live like this hurting myself
The best in the world haven’t seen what I’ve felt
Although you say I may fell sorry for myself
It goes deeper than that..
You could never understand where I am at.
You can wash your hands of me like that will be that.
No matter how many of those claim to have your back
I want to let this go ,cause it’s killing my insides
But I suffer alone maybe too much pride.
Tried talking to someone but they said I was bringing it all on my ow.
As long as I’m there no matter how many people there are I’m always alone.
I don’t pity myself but regret what I had..
I’ve felt better on days to see the places and the ways that its stands
But you could never understand.
Have you had to walk in the broken shoes off beat to the rhythms?
How many times I can’t find a person to get it like a sad algorithm?
It’s not a riddle nor a way for you to feel sorry for me
this is the pain you’ve never had to bear
As humans we all suffer but you aren’t there
And thought they’ve all moved on I never forgot
to carry the torch getting burned by my emotions when I settle to the ground
Maybe its time to find away to change but I contrition my actions with stupid words
Held accountable for those that won’t understand my nouns and verbs
It fine this is the place is where I put myself and run into the herds
I could never be like you want me to be I tried
Every time I saw you move on a part of me died
That’s the way I live because men never cried
so I bleed the way that I left myself inside
Cut like glass for wounds that medicine bears
Even then no one cared…
So I fought this battle all by my self to find that I had to change
but I fear the first step leaving behind what I felt was game
This isn’t all I ever felt but they wont understand until I’ve been the different
I can no longer bear these wounds self inflicted for someone else
I can no longer pour my soul into something that cannot give me what I need
As long as your happy then I can’t feel too bad but the life I lead is a lonely dark path
wanting to forgot.
The memories are too good.
Excuse after excuse will never change how I feel
So alas under the stars smoking my life away.
I am saddened by the way you go.
But that’s life and along the line I must learn to forgive
myself these dreams must stop for I am in love with a dream
Far away moving along by herself
I must learn
and live for myself
but I can’t get over how I’m saddened for losing you
But it’s gone now like so many ideas that I wasted
Gone because I was too much and knew too little
So this should tell you where I’m going
while still I’m saddened by the way you went
Away from me… The future I ruined by being sad
all because of the past I couldn’t forget…
These dreams that are never going to be
Under the skies saddened by the way you went…
Finding an outlet for those who cannot see past their noses
The days of hope can be changed by the times of gold
To live on as a person that you simply cannot be..
How can you fake yourself in to believing you are someone else
This phoenix rose from the ashes only to speak with the intent to lie
These reasons cloud the purpose of a life simply living clear
As I find new ways to express myself I tell myself not to lose myself
For some do not understand
and empty stomachs and ashtrays can never let you see past the shadow of others
To act as if it does not affect you,, in turn would be lying to yourself
Although I aim to be great I cannot accept that I must act with letting my true intentions be known
For then can I see beyond myself, to see beyond the horizon into a new day of glory
Men only ponder and lust for power
as I pray for peace
knowing this path will not be easy I must shed the skin of a former self
Kind words may only get you so far
Why would I act any different from the way I am now?
To let yourself see the mistakes you make can help you in the time you need
and to become strong within never acting like it doesn’t matter
or holding deep down inside.
For those who cannot tell their true emotions and let themselves say what they mean
I give you this
a voice
a time to say no longer will I hold back for time is fleeting like our dying planet
It has become time to live up to yourself and tell yourself I must
not act as if it doesnt bother me, I must say what I need to say
for the last time before we part..
Forever is a long time and the thought of loses this moment
without your true intent is a shallow act
worse than those you sit back and let it all fall down
So I ask why do we act?
When we know that it’s not the best way to be…
Maybe sometimes it’s better not to ask..
Finding an outlet for those who cannot see past their noses
The days of hope can be changed by the times of gold
To live on as a person that you simply cannot be..
How can you fake yourself in to believing you are someone else
This phoenix rose from the ashes only to speak with the intent to lie
These reasons cloud the purpose of a life simply living clear
As I find new ways to express myself I tell myself not to lose myself
For some do not understand
and empty stomachs and ashtrays can never let you see past the shadow of others
To act as if it does not affect you,, in turn would be lying to yourself
Although I aim to be great I cannot accept that I must act with letting my true intentions be known
For then can I see beyond myself, to see beyond the horizon into a new day of glory
Men only ponder and lust for power
as I pray for peace
knowing this path will not be easy I must shed the skin of a former self
Kind words may only get you so far
Why would I act any different from the way I am now?
To let yourself see the mistakes you make can help you in the time you need
and to become strong within never acting like it doesn’t matter
or holding deep down inside.
For those who cannot tell their true emotions and let themselves say what they mean
I give you this
a voice
a time to say no longer will I hold back for time is fleeting like our dying planet
It has become time to live up to yourself and tell yourself I must
not act as if it doesnt bother me, I must say what I need to say
for the last time before we part..
Forever is a long time and the thought of loses this moment
without your true intent is a shallow act
worse than those you sit back and let it all fall down
So I ask why do we act?
When we know that it’s not the best way to be…
Maybe sometimes it’s better not to ask..
You’re only as strong as you let yourself
Staying up forgiving so don’t sweat yourself
These roads had no meaning only if they could talk
they would tell you to get up and stop dreaming
My words are the house and the fire I see
I’ve built myself to tear myself down
I’m stronger than those who supposed
life was made to open and close
lets no complicate the wait of our mental and spiritual states
while most regret and live in past mistakes I want to go far so
I cut the cancer from my skin
It’s a brand new day to forget my sins
for all that is wrong in my life allow me to make it right
Float to the highest point only to feel that you are half way there
live for the moment because all and all no matter what it ain’t fair
Your only as strong as you think you are
people are not higher than stars
With the Tiger’s eye I see myself and as much of the pain I felt
Feeling good never felt like this and in freedom
its and why I relive my stress
My battles aren’t over but I’ve called a truce
because I can hate myself no longer so cut the abuse
I do more with my mind escaped and on the loose
and let those who wronged themselves tightened the noose
No gold at the end of the tunnel it rest deep within
if you can’t see that then that’s where I’ve been
In the spirt of the fire where everything is holy
live for yourself thats what the abuelos told me
Hate and jealousy that was the old me
so now a days I live for myself fuck the homies
even thought I still care I was rung out until I could see myself and stare
into the lights and to see my soul it was once dark now its bright
this medicine can turn you inside out and outside in
take you for a ride and show you where its been
it can heal this sick and rid you of sin
but you must make that choice
No longer am I hanging with demons and devils
no longer will I drown with others
I will walk the path with my real sisters and brothers
Feed the good wolf and fuck the bad
living never felt so good for what I had
Sacrifice is watching you tongue the beauty in a ritual
and a ceremony of one breath one mind
praying in the fire
In the spirt of the fire the demons where gone
Hurting myself it was always wrong
my words chosen like chess pieces
waiting for my next move
the world beyond myself never intrude
a rebirth like a newborn fresh and nude
even sherlock homes couldn’t find a clue
but its there in the fire
in the spirt inside sit up straight your face you can’t hide
you can build a wall of lies
but it will tumble upon you and destroy your being
the first time I haven’t used my eyes for seeing
In the spirt of the fire
where everything is holy and sacred
I must stand as a man and suffer on my own
deal with this as I live to be shown
the path of life and the bath of light
this is no longer a fight but a time to
remember who you are and where you are going
I’m going I’m getting there
Im there…
The past has let me down but it has told me that I cant do it and now the bullet has been dogded again but for how long?
If you were leaving I would want to follow you so because I never got to pay you back both took bullets for me to survive
Crying tears I’ve never cried, I’ve dodged the bullets but from my past I cannot hide
Please let me show you the man I have become, tell me your proud that you raised my right as you raised my left and told me to stand like a man , Women may come and go, alcohol can be drank but its not the same without you there. You both made me
If you left I dont know what I could do to make up for my shortcoming.
You were a real man who did what you needed to. Dont you know with out you I would have not surrived? Dont you know that people will not forget all the little shit that you did for this family both of you meant so much to me. The gift of life you both suffered for me You were the strongest woman never letting me go to stray away
You cant go ! I wont let you go I must move on! I want to let you know that I am just like you ready to accept the world as it is as our fathers did and you told me not to worry its never to. My first memory was your blue eyes the eyes of true love and compassion.
The mother that held me from evil until I left
You helped a small seed grow into a giant tree and I wish I could tell you like you told me ” im proud of you” I know we’ve had our ups and down, my anger which you understood, who tried to kill you and the children who fought for you even if you were wrong the love of both I could never choose
You were and always will be the world to a small star in the deep blue skys
teaching me the blues .. strumming my guitar you told me men werent supposed to weep
so I holp my tears back and play another lifeless tune showing me my spirt
the world out of tune a mother fighting to keep it all together Children should never lose their innocence she would say the mother knows what men do not..
the blood seeps from, the chords and hopes that I had of us ever spending time as men as the man my mother raised me to be..
reflecting our reflections inspecting my life with another world. how he came out west to find himself and found himself inside of a soul. The sky gentle as it is weeps for you and I hold back my tears for the way I was treated The mother that was always there! She was alone but kept herself strong never weak as a goddess does
You both told me to be a man is to accept the consequences of your own actions
I do
Im sorry I left you in anger to find the world but you told me this is what a man does
this is what a man is the stone figure standing tall
the former shadow of myself will never over shadow you or the mother that made me
I shattered myself to let you live to see me repay you for my sins and glories
I am the next chapter to your stories the son the brighten your darkness
I will tell my sons and daughters of the things you could never learn in school
deep down inside I regret that I was a fool disrespecting you such words can never be said to a woman like you!
But here I stand playing you this simple song
So time and age may move along
My creators woman and man
so much conflict but true in actions
may equal the words to say I love you both
Mother and father the most holy inside!
The family that never left me…
Words hold meaning
as gold stands gleaming
for a different life dreaming
Follow the word of a real revolution
as time is outward like pollution
I’ve see this all before
and I will not stop to think about it once more
people are like myths and old folklore
but listen to your old folks more
cause they been around like torrential down pour
Just flowing to the beat letting off steam and heat
cause we are what we eat
so in that case let me be sweet
yet sour
as I flow for hours
Talking to myself letting it be known this is how I felt
it feels good to have nothing to see
over the horizon the sun see me
to be free more than the word that exists
time I let it persist
Take me away so I can see myself
this is the first time I can be myself
Cause the sunshine is gone and thats fine
I find a new sun to lay under and rip this rhyme
They say there’s no sunshine when she gone
I’ll find a new sun to keep me warm when write this song
Because you need to treat it better but learn how to turn a letter
Can’t live in the past just it falls in the west
Distance yourself and be the best
Yet she rises in the east
as I found sunshine as I piece the puzzle
together
if the sunshine is gone
then I wrote this letter
to make my life better and rock to the beat of lissen
as the sunshine is gone I saw good riddance and keep spitting
and find another sun to share my submissions
with all of my peoples permissions
with my sunshine there I can feel smitten
Here I sit looking through my mind
Mindless..
Thinking of the times I couldn’t change the past
or the things I took for granted
Wondering how to move forward instead of backwards
Here I sit looking at past notes and thinking of the day I was happy
I had it all lined up in a perfect circle
Love, Music, Poetry, and You
I looked back into the dark corners and saw a light
Something I forgot about
Something I took for granted
I lamented over the fact I should have moved
I laughed at myself for being scared of leaving the only place I ever called home
for the woman I loved.
Maybe this is the way its supposed to be…
Along the shores of my distance from a world where I feel jaded
Lost…
I sat reading her letters knowing that she moved on
and I smiled.. I sat writing in a notebook I hadn’t touched in forever
and it brought back good times
Smoking on the ceiling and making love in the sun
But alas.. it fled like a bat in the night time sky
All because of fear
a wise man once told me
“If you fear you lose”
and I lost
as I searched for Fame
I lost Love,
as I longed for acceptance
I lost you
As I lived for others
I lost music
and As I looked for poetry
I found despair
But this kept me sane
as I deleted the past
Old emails
Lost loves
and friendship which I ruined
I no longer had hate in my heart
I felt aware of the mistakes I had made
Deleting the only time I felt at peace
I am enlightened by the friends that kept coming back
even after I pushed them away
Then I lost myself
only to find that I hadn’t lost much
I just keep the illusions of a past I could never live
What if and I should have done
Aren’t words I hold anymore
as I hit the keys and deleted my past
I sit now looking a a blank page thinking what’s next
or how could I get to that state
It doesn’t matter now
We learn from our mistakes
I now live for what I have
my words
and the sense of knowing who I am
as I deleted my past…